The Last Letters of Jason R Seaver
by Andress Jade
Summary: I've really gotten into Growing Pains in the last few weeks. In doing so, it had me thinking about Alan Thicke's death and what kind of guy he was in real life and on TV as Dr. Jason Seaver. They were honestly one in the same. I hope I do the character of Jason Seaver justice as well as honoring Alan's memory. Rest In Peace, Alan.
1. Chapter 1-Maggie's Letter

_I've really gotten into Growing Pains in the last few weeks. In doing so, it had me thinking about Alan Thicke's death and what kind of guy he was in real life and on TV as Dr. Jason Seaver. They were honestly one in the same. Alan was an incredible human being and despite his flaws,so was Jason. He was an amazing husband to Maggie and father to Mike, Carol, Ben and Chrissy. I was surprised that there were really no stories pertaining to Alan's death so I decided to write this story. I hope I do the character of Jason Seaver justice as well as honoring Alan's memory. Rest In Peace, Alan. _

The Last Letters of Jason R. Seaver

Chapter 1-Maggie's Letter

It's been two weeks since Jason's funeral and Maggie is just finally getting around to getting Jason's effects in order. These last few weeks have been the most difficult for her since her father died. She never imagined this day would come, especially this soon. She thought she would be the one to go first since she is older but unfortunately that's not the case. She has been trying her hardest to be strong for the kids because despite the fact that they are all grown, they still need her. Losing their father is a devastating blow to all of them. They all loved their father and he loved them deeply in return.

Jason is the only man she ever really loved and spent over 30 years of her life with.

She will never forget the day she got the news that Jason died. She was at home with Chrissy babysitting her grandchildren, three of Mike's kids and Carol's youngest child. Carol was at work. Jason, Mike, Ben, Carol's husband Scott and Carol's oldest child, Seaver all went to a basketball game at Madison Square Garden. Mike's three older kids were with their mom, Kate.

Maggie and Chrissy were playing a game with the kids trying to keep them entertained. Mike's kids are pretty rambunctious so they had to really keep up with them. Maggie couldn't do it without Chrissy's help. Carol's youngest is a pretty laid back child so they didn't have to do much to keep him entertained, he was happy doing whatever the other kids were doing.

As Chrissy went into the kitchen to fix the kids something to eat, the phone rang.

"I'll get it, Chrissy!" Maggie yelled.

Chrissy smiled as she started to make the food for everyone.

Maggie picks up the phone.

"Hello?"

"Is this Mrs. Maggie Seaver?"

"Yes it is. What can I do for you?"

"Is your husband Jason Seaver?"

"Yes he is. Why do you ask?"

"Mrs. Seaver, I'm afraid I have some bad news. Your husband suffered a heart attack and died on the way to the hospital. I'm so sorry."

Maggie stands there in stunned silence while still holding the phone in her hand.

"Mrs. Seaver?"

The sound of the man's voice on the other end of the line brings her back.

"Yes, I'm here."

"Your family is at The Mount Sinai Comprehensive Health Hospital if you would like to join them and take care of the necessary arrangements."

"Thank you, I'll be there as soon as I can." she manages to say before hanging up the phone.

The kids continue to laugh and play as Maggie sits down on the couch, still stunned from the news. She's in so much shock she doesn't even hear Chrissy come into the room with food for the kids.

"Okay, kids! Come sit at the table and eat your lunch!" she yells.

The kids jump up and run over to the table laughing and squealing. Only then does she notice her mom sitting on the couch staring straight ahead. Chrissy approaches her mom and sits down next to her.

"Mom?"

Maggie doesn't answer at first, so Chrissy tries once more to get her mother's attention.

"Mom?" she says as she squeezes her arm.

This seems to get Maggie's attention as she looks over at her daughter with a slightly confused look on her face.

Chrissy looks at her mom with deep concern on her face.

Suddenly Maggie gets a look of recognition on her face as she smiles at her daughter and puts her hand on her cheek.

"Chrissy, my baby. My little girl."

"Mom, I'm not a little girl anymore, I'm an adult now."

Maggie smiles with tears in her eyes.

"I know you're an adult but you will always be my baby, your daddy's baby."

"Mom, what's going on? Is this about the phone call you just got?"

Maggie is once again confused.

"Phone call?"

"Yes, mom. You just had a phone call. What was the phone call about?"

Maggie looks over at the phone and then back at Chrissy, then a light bulb goes on in her head and everything suddenly makes sense.

Maggie grabs her youngest daughter's hand.

"Christine, your daddy had a heart attack at the basketball game and died on his way to the hospital."

Chrissy just looks at her mom with an expression of shock and disbelief.

Now here Maggie is two weeks after Jason's death and it still doesn't seem real. It just doesn't seem fair. Why is it always the good ones that are taken too soon and way before their time?

These questions run through her head as she comes across an envelope in Jason's desk drawer. She picks it up and looks at the writing on the front. It's Jason's handwriting.

_Letters To My Family In The Event Of My Death- Open Only After My Death _

Maggie gasps.

"Oh, Jason." she says as she wipes the fresh tears from her cheeks.

She opens the envelope and takes out whats inside. There are five letters, one addressed to her and then one addressed to each of the kids.

She grabs the one addressed to her and opens it and begins to read it.

_My Dearest Maggie,_

_If you are reading this then I have passed on. I am writing this letter to say all the things I never got to say to you face to face. I don't know if that makes me weak or a coward but I just didn't know how to tell you in person all the things that I needed to say. Maggie, you were the only woman I ever loved and the only woman I ever wanted to marry. I was always faithful to you and our marriage. I have no regrets when it comes to you and me and our four beautiful children. You made me the happiest man on the planet when you became my wife and when our children were born. I was never more proud and happy to be a father, I just hope I was the best father I could be to our children. I love our children so much Maggie, they are all a part of both of us and special in their own way. _

_They all have your beauty, your intelligence, your determination, your sensitivity, your stubbornness, your strength, your capacity to love and how headstrong you are. I know I didn't say it enough to you when I was alive but you are the best mom and were the best wife a man could have asked for. I was incredibly lucky to have had you in my life. You were my best friend, confidante, champion, lover and my biggest inspiration. I never could have had all I had without you in my life. I'm sorry if I ever made you feel you weren't important or that I didn't love you because I loved you with my entire heart and soul. I loved you, Maggie and I will still be loving you even beyond my death. My love for you is eternal and transcends time and space. We will be reunited again someday and I will be here waiting for you with open arms. Remember me fondly and with smiles and laughter, not with tears. Life's too short for tears and sadness. Be there for the children, Maggie and the grandchildren. Let them know just how much I loved them and miss them and can't wait to see them again someday. _

_Thank you for everything you had ever given me, Maggie and be content knowing that I died happy and doing something I loved. I had a wonderful life, and even if it was cut short, I did and had everything I ever wanted in life and that was sharing the laughter and love with you and the kids. Until we meet again, Maggie. Goodbye for now. I love you now and forever. _

_Your loving husband, Jason. _

Maggie closes the letter as the tears run down her cheeks.

"I know you told me not to cry over your death, Jason but I just can't help it. I miss you so much and I loved you, too. It hurts so much that you're not here, I need you. I just don't think I can do this by myself. I'm a strong person by myself but I'm a stronger person with you. I never realized how much I really need, love and depend on you now that your not here. I'm going to do my best to stay strong for the kids, it will be hard but I will do it for you because I know how much our kids need me.

Maggie wipes the fresh tears that have fallen. She grabs a tissue off of Jason's desk as she wipes her eyes and cheeks and blows her nose. She has to face the kids to give them their letters and she doesn't want them to see that she's been crying.

"Please, Jason give me the strength to face the children." she says as she tosses her tissue in the trash and grabs the letters off the desk.

She leaves Jason's office and closes the door behind her as she goes to find the kids.

To be continued...


	2. Chapter 2-Mike's Letter

The Last Letters of Jason R. Seaver

Chapter 2-Mike's Letter

Maggie searches the house high and low to find the kids. They have all been staying at the house since their father died, they haven't wanted to leave their mother's side. It's been two weeks since Jason's funeral and four weeks since his death. Mike and Kate are staying in Mike's old apartment above the garage, Carol and her husband Scott have been staying in her old room, Ben has been in his old room, Chrissy has been in hers, Mike and Kate's kids, and Carol and Scott's kids have been bunking in the guest room on the bed, cots and sleeping bags. It's amazing how well they get along with each other, so much better than their parents got along with each other through the years. It makes Maggie's heart feel good to see it.

After searching the kitchen, the garage apartment, the basement, there was only one place left to look; the upstairs bedrooms. She starts with she and Jason's bedroom; which she will admit has been hard to even be in since Jason's death. She opens the door and is greeted by an empty room, she is suddenly bombarded by a flood of memories of she and Jason together; the first night they spent together in this room, the late night talks,the fights, the night they found they were expecting Chrissy, the last night they spent in this room or what they thought was the last night, and the last time they were together in this room before Jason died.

Before she realizes it, she's crying again and can't get the tears to stop as she collapses in the chair. Her entire body is racked with sobs as she curls up in the chair and allows herself to cry.

Maggie's kids are in the guest room with their kids when they hear their mother crying. Mike's the first to get up and check on her. Carol, Ben and Chrissy stay to keep an eye on the younger kids.

Mike reaches the doorway of his parents' bedroom as he continues to hear his mother crying. He looks in and sees her curled up in the chair with her face buried in the back of the chair. He approaches her and puts his hand on her shoulder.

"Mom?" he says tentitavely.

Maggie stops crying and looks up at her oldest son. She looks confused for a moment and then acknowledges her son's presence as she smiles at him. She wipes her tears away and sits up. Mike sits down on the ottoman to join his mother.

"Mike, I'm so sorry you had to see me like that. I thought I had my emotions under control, it's just I miss your father so much. I didn't realize how much I did until today." Maggie explains.

"Mom, you don't have to explain. We all miss dad. It's hard on all of us. I was there when it happened, remember?"

Maggie puts her hand on Mike's cheek as she looks at him sympathetically.

"That's right, you were. I had almost forgotten."

Mike nods as he stands up and walks away with a look of guilt on his face.

"Mom, it's my fault that dad died."

Maggie shoots up out of the chair and approaches her son.

"Michael Seaver! It's not your fault that your father died of heart attack!"

"I know, mom. But I should have done more, I should have helped him!" Mike cries.

"Michael, you did everything you could! You were the one who made sure your father got immediate attention and got to the hospital. You were very brave!"

"Yes, I was but he still died, mom! I have to live with that everyday for the rest of my life!" Mike cries as he grabs his head and slides to the floor next to the bed.

He breaks down crying as Maggie tries to comfort him. She then remembers the letter that Jason wrote for Mike as she gets up to grab it out of the envelope.

"I have something that might give you some peace of mind." Maggie explains.

Mike looks up at his mom, the tears still wet on his cheeks.

"What is it, mom?"

Maggie holds the envelope with his name on it out to him.

"A letter from your father. He wrote a letter to all of us sometime before he died. He only wanted them read in the event of his death. I already read the one he wrote to me."

Mike takes the letter from this mother as he looks at it and sees his name in his father's handwriting.

"I'll leave you alone to read it." Maggie says as she ruffles Mike's hair with a smile.

Mike smiles back as he opens the letter.

Maggie leaves the bedroom and closes the door behind her and joins her kids and grandkids in the other room. Being surrounded by her family is just what she needs right now.

Meanwhile...

Mike begins to read the letter.

_Dear Michael,_

_Son, if you are reading this I have passed on. I just want you to know how proud I am of you. I know I didn't say it to you enough but I am proud of you. You have grown up to become such an amazing young man. You married a wonderful,beautiful girl in Kate and I can see how much you love her. It reminds me of your mother and I when we first got together. I adored your mother up until the day I died. She was the only woman I ever loved and she gave me so many wonderful things. She gave me four beautiful, amazing children, and so much love and happiness. I just hope she felt the same way, because I did everything I could to make your mother happy._

_Mike, take care of your mother because she is going to need you. I know she's a strong person and that's one of the things I loved about her but I know it's going to be hard for her now that I'm gone. Be there for your brother and sisters, take good care of them. I know you didn't always get along but I know you love each other. _

_Tell your children how much their grandfather loved them. I was so proud to be a grandpa, spending time with my grandchildren was one of the greatest joys in my life. I hope I was the best father I could be to you, I hope I didn't let you down. I did the best I could because I loved you and loved being your father. You know that you and I were so much alike that it scared me sometimes. You have a little of your mother in you too. You have her determination, stubbornness, and are headstrong like her. I saw so much potential in you when you were a kid and drove us crazy with your shenanigans but I knew that eventually one day you would be the person I always knew you could be. _

_I also want you to know that I died doing what I love, and it's nobody's fault when and how I died. I don't want you blaming yourself for not doing all you could. It was just my time and there was nothing that could have stopped it from happening. I hate that it had to happen so soon but I know that your mom, sisters and brother are all in good hands and we will all be reunited again one day. _

_Never forget how much I loved you, son. I will miss you and be here waiting patiently till the day we are all together again. _

_I want you to remember me with smiles and laughter, not tears. Life's too short and I want you to celebrate my life, not mourn my death because I will always be there in some form. I'm at peace and I want you to remember that whenever you get to missing me and are sad, and smile instead in rememberance of me. Goodbye for now, son._

_Your loving father, Jason._

Mike finishes the letter as he folds it up and puts it back in the envelope. The tears form in his eyes as he smiles while looking at the letter.

"Thank you, dad." he says.

He stands up, walks over to the door, opens it and stands in the doorway for a moment with a look of sentiment on his face. He then goes to look for his mother to tell her that the letter from his father did give him peace of mind and that in time he really will be okay.

To be continued...


	3. Chapter 3-Carol's Letter

The Last Letters of Jason R. Seaver

Chapter 3-Carol's Letter

As Mike enters the guest bedroom, he sees his mom playing and laughing with his kids and Carol's youngest son climbs on her back and wraps his arms around her neck. This causes a smile to spread across Mike's face because just a short time before his mother was hysterically crying and sad over his father's death. Children always seem to make things better, at least for a short time.

Mike finally decides to approach his mother and get her attention.

"Are you guys torturing grandma?" he says to his kids.

They all look up at him and laugh.

"Hi, daddy!" they all say excitedly.

Maggie looks up at her son and smiles.

"We're just having some fun!" Maggie replies as she tries to tickle one of the kids.

Mike smiles at his mom.

"Mom, can we talk for a minute?"

Maggie's face suddenly becomes serious as she stands up and puts her arm around her son.

"Of course we can talk." she says as she leads Mike to the other side of the room.

Mike wraps his mom in a tight hug.

"Thanks for the letter from dad and allowing me to read it alone. I really needed that."

They pull out of the hug as Maggie looks at Mike.

"So you are feeling better now after reading your dad's letter? You don't blame yourself anymore?"

Mike shakes his head.

"No, dad explained everything in the letter and I realize what happened to him was nobody's fault. He doesn't blame me, so I shouldn't blame myself." he explains.

Maggie smiles with tears in her eyes as she puts her hand on Mike's cheek.

"I'm so glad to hear that. I'm so proud of you, Mike."

Mike has tears in his eyes.

"I know, mom. Thank you." he says to her as he wraps her in a hug.

As Maggie hugs her son she spots Carol with her boys. Her oldest son, Seaver is really taking the death of his grandfather hard. He was very close to him. Carol is trying to comfort him as he sits with his head down and his arms across his chest. Carol hands him a tissue as he looks up at her at takes it from her. She sits down next to him and puts her arm around his shoulders and holds him. Her youngest just stands there quietly, still a bit confused as to what is going on. Maggie realizes that this is the perfect time to give Carol her letter.

She pulls out of the hug and gives Mike a kiss on his cheek.

"I need to go talk to your sister." she tells him.

Mike nods.

"Okay mom. I'll go spend time with the kids."

Maggie smiles and nods as Mike walks away and approaches his kids. Maggie walks over to her daughter and grandsons. She smiles down at the three of them.

"Carol?"

Carol stops what she is doing and looks up at her mother and smiles.

"Hi, mom."

Maggie smiles back at her daughter before answering. You can hear Seaver blow his nose as he keeps his head down.

"There is something I need to give you from your father. Can you spare a few minutes?"

Carol smiles before answering.

"Sure, mom." she replies as she stands up.

She looks down at Seaver as she places her hand on his head.

"I'll be right back, honey."

Seaver nods.

"I'll keep him company, momma." her youngest boy replies.

"Thank you." she says as she smiles at him.

He just nods and sits down next to his brother.

Maggie takes Carol's hand and leads her to the chair over by the door. Once there, Maggie picks up the manila envelope containing the letters, opens it and takes out the letters that are remaining. She finds the one for Carol and hands it to her.

Carol takes it and looks at it.

"What is this, mom?"

"It's a letter your dad wrote to you sometime before he died. He wrote one to me, to Mike, to Ben and to Chrissy. I have already read mine and so has Mike, so it's your turn now."

Carol nods as she continues to look at the letter in her hand.

"You are more than welcome to take it into another room to read it so you can have some privacy." Maggie explains.

"I'll read it in the bathroom. Thanks, mom."

Maggie nods as she watches Carol walk to the bathroom and close the door behind her.

Meanwhile...

Once Carol has closed the door behind her and has familiarized herself with her surroundings, she finds a place to sit to read the letter. She decides to sit on the bench that's under the shelf by the bathtub. She walks over, pulls it out, leans it against the wall next to the shelf and sits down. Once she sits, she looks at the the envelope containing the letter before opening. She runs her fingers across her father's handwriting as the tears fill her eyes.

"Oh, daddy." she manages to say before she opens the envelope.

Once she has it open, she pulls the letter out, unfolds it and begins reading.

_Dear Carol,_

_If you are reading this than I have passed on. I'm so sorry that it had to be this way. My death was nobody's fault and it was something that nobody had any control over. I don't want you to blame yourself for my death. I just hate that it had to be so sudden and so soon, there was so much more that I needed to tell you. I want you to know how proud I was of you and how proud I was to be your father. You were the best daughter that a father could ever ask for. I just hope that I never let you down and that you knew how much I loved you. You have something special, Carol. You always worked hard and never gave up on anything you ever did in your life. I was so happy the day that I found out that my daughter was going to be a lawyer! It was one of the proudest days of my life, next to your birth of course. From the moment you were born, I knew that you were going to be an incredible human being and an even better daughter. _

_You are so much like your mother, so much like her that it scared me. Your mother is the most incredible, beautiful person I had ever met in my life and if you had to take after one of us, I'm glad it was her. I loved your mother so much, Carol. She's a smart, feisty, headstrong, giving, loving, stubborn, passionate woman who kept me on my toes. I needed someone like her in my life to keep me grounded and sane. Once you kids came along, I knew it's what I wanted for the rest of my life. _

_I'm so happy that you found such a good man to marry in Scott. He takes good care of you and your boys. I loved being their grandfather and I know they looked up to me. Your son, Seaver is the best kid in the world. He and I were so close and I know he's probably the one that is taking my death the hardest. I also know he's strong like you and will be there for his little brother and cousins. You were always scared that you wouldn't be a good mother, Carol but you are the best mother to your boys because you have such a good mother yourself. She taught you everything she knows. I know you finally realized that like your mother, you can have a child and still have a successful career. It's hard work but it's worth it in the end. It all works out eventually. _

_I want you to remember me fondly and remember me with smiles and laughter, not tears. Life's too short to be sad and depressed. It's a big world out there and I want you to enjoy it to the fullest because as you can see life goes by so fast and can be over so quickly, in the blink of an eye. I will always be with you in some form until we can be together again in eternity. _

_I love you, Carol Anne and I can't wait to see you again someday. Always remember that when you get to thinking about me and missing me. Until we meet again. _

_Your loving father, Jason_

As Carol reads the last words of her father's letter she can't stop the tears from falling. Before she realizes it, her tears have wet the pages of the letter. She reaches over and grabs a tissue as she wipes her eyes and face.  
"Oh daddy, I love you and miss you and can't wait to see you again. You were the best father a girl could ever ask for and I was proud to be your daughter. Thank you for everything."

As she says this she folds up the letter and places it back in the envelope. She stands up and replaces the bench back under the shelf. She walks over to the sink and looks in the mirror. Her eyes are damp and red from crying and her face is red and damp. She puts the letter aside as she turns on the faucet and washes her face with the cold water. Once she has done that and is satisfied with her appearance she grabs the letter, walks to the door, opens it and steps out to face her family.

To be continued...


End file.
